Youre Allowed to Quit Your Job for Selfish Reasons - The Muse

Youre Allowed to Quit Your Job for Selfish Reasons - The MuseYoure Allowed to Quit Your Job for Selfish Reasons In a perfect world, you could just walk away carefree from a crummy job. Well, technically, there would be no crummy jobs in a perfect world- but just go with me here. The real world, however, is never so simple. If your family depends on your income or the insurance coverage your job provides, kicking open the exit and rushing through in a blaze of righteous glory probably isnt realistic for you. Or, maybe its not so much that others depend on you, but youve overheard your mom humble bragging about you or youve seen your significant other beam with pride when talking about the work you do. Or, maybe youve just busted your tail to climb the proverbial ladder, and youre struggling with what it would mean if you forgo everything youve clamored for. As the person who carries my familys insurance, I completely understand the I cant just quit, mindset. But no matter what dynamic s are at play, its still your life, your career, and your peace of mind on the line. If you want out of your current role and the only thing holding you back is guilt, you have permission to be at least a little selfish. That may bring to mind a dramatic scene, but putting yourself first doesnt have to be this dramatic all-or-nothing situation. In fact, taking good care of yourself really isnt selfish at all. When youre at your best, youre more productive at work and a better family member and friend in your personal life. If youre still not convinced you can do it, keep reading for a few tips thatll make it a little easier to swallow 1. Avoid AssumptionsWhether youre assuming you cant tell a loved one that youre miserable for fear of disappointing them or assuming youre stuck forever in a job you hate, youre playing a dead-end game. Instead, ask yourself, Do I really know this? If so, how do I know? You may be surprised when you force yourself to qualify your assumptions. It looks like this You tell yourself youre stuck in your job because you need your paycheck to pay rent. But when you sit down and take a hard look at your budget, you realize that between your savings and picking shifts up at the coffee shop on the weekends, you could actually take three months off to find a new job.Another approach that can help you shake harmful assumptions is to ask yourself, What would change if this isnt true? This allows you to at least entertain alternate scenarios. What would you do differently today if you didnt need that paycheck for rent? Would you go back to school? Get a job in a different field? When you mull over what you could do if your assumptions are untrue, you get one step closer to going after what you really want.2. Clue Your Loved Ones InIf someone in your lifes deeply invested in your career, you may feel tempted to stay mum. You dont want to cause your loved ones any embarrassment or disappointment. You certainly dont want to upend their lives. Tim e for a reality check Think of the person you love most. How would you feel if they were suffering and didnt feel like they could tell you? Right. Give your people some credit. Just like Its your job as a friend to support your loved ones when they need you, its their job to do the same for you. Let them do their job. Maybe they can only provide sympathy and moral support thats more than you had when you were pretending all was well and suffering in silence. They may also surprise you with an idea or insight you hadnt considered, or even a professional contact. 3. Move Beyond All or NothingWhen it comes to a crappy job, its easy to get stuck in the belief that you must either endure your current torment or quit and ruin your life (and the lives of your loved ones). Its rare, though, that we truly only have two options life is simply too complex. Changing your language and thought processes around such scenarios can certainly help. Try dropping qualifiers like have to, always, never, and substituting with and. I have to stay in this mess of a job or Im screwed because I lose my benefits becomes, Im in a mess of a job and I need to keep my benefits. Its a subtle shift, but now youve moved away from I have to do this or this to recognizing what you need. From there, you can begin thinking about how you might be able to make a change while keeping the benefits you need. That might mean you consider other options outside of your department, but still within your company that you hadnt previously thought about. Or it might mean you educate yourself about negotiating, particularly in regards to benefits, so you can consider a position with a new company without losing the coverage you need. Its not my intent to minimize or over-simplify a work situation that may be truly terrible or the reasons why you feel you cant just up and quit. Rather, I hope this offers some hope that even in a complicated situation, you do have the right to care about your own needs, and that if you can make some shifts in the way you think about and approach the situation, you may find workable solutions. Because when youre happy, thats good for everyone.